blog of the day...

well so far so good with my new medication. my doctor put me on 50mg zoloft for my social anxiety disorder & depression. i do have some side effects i get nauseated but not sick just nauseated, insomnia but it went away when i took the med in the am and not the pm and i get these how do i describe it.... these "auto" pilot moments. its like im not me but watching me it seems to happen mainly in the am after i take the med till about 11-12 then it tapers off or disappears. its not really bothersome i just kinda "zone" for a time then snap back. i dont really "feel" less anxiety yet but i just started them on march 18th. my doctor said i may need a dose upgrade im on the low one and can have up to 200mg. i still dont feel an erge to do the things other people do like leave there home, clean there home or even play with there kids. im hoping a combination of the medication and having my best friend back in my life will help me. its so hard to get out of my home and having a friend really helps. we are going to have coffee on the 31st im so excited!! we havent seen eachother for 2 yrs... this is so awesome!! im hoping she will see a difference in me when we see eachother :) or atleast think im where i was even 2 yrs ago. i have really gone downhill in the last 2 yrs and getting back to that point would definitely be an improvement!! you know what i just realized... im scared. im scared that ill loose my friend again :( i think thats why i havent been in real "contact" with her. i so badly want to be where we were but in the same breath im scared ill loose her again and be devastated again. she was like my sister. cj says im being silly he is just happy to see that light back in my eye. when i told him bout the coffee date i was so excited and he was happy to see me get excited again. maybe i am just being silly. im truly blessed to have her and her family back in my life and my familys life :) btw... i am taking my mother in laws calls again lol. well my little ones are stirring and want food so im leaving now :) till next time!