a cup of tea...

today was a much better day. i was able to complete all my morning routines and all my afternoon routines :) the kids dinner is cooking i have a nice warm cup of tea and i just finished shining my sink :) literally!! i feel so rejuvenated and i think i may be able to keep this going. im so proud of myself. i had a bump in the road with the kids trying to get them to sit and do homework or read for an hour but all in all i consider this day a good one :) i now have 30 minutes to sit and rest with my tea before going to work on the kids dinner some more then around 7-730 ill get going on mine and CJs dinner. we are having 1 stuffed pork loin chop baked not fried, 1 baked potato with 2 spoons of sour cream and butter and a small dinner salad. alot less than we would have a week ago. im sitting in a clean dinning room with a table ready to be eaten at :) and the living room looks great and no TV can be heard ahhhhh. my bathroom sink looks awesome and considering it doesnt work u would think it always would but the kids insist on using it and it doesnt drain right so it was icky but now its gorgeous!! toilet on the other hand i think i need a sos pad for i tried the scrubber and did the best i could :( still got gunk in the u know boys gunk place :| come friday ill get a better tool to finish it up :) so today my mood is on the up and up hope yours is too :)

Frustration..

i feel like im all alone in this. today was to be day one for my control journal. the day started all wrong. i woke to a bad sinus headache and asked CJ to bring me my nasal spray as i was in extreme pain :( i been fighting a sinus infection for 2 weeks so i knew without the spray i wasn't going to be able jump out of my bed flying. well he never brought it and i lay in a completely useless restless sleep till almost noon!! finally being able to get outta bed(had to pee bad) i grabbed my spray myself and within 5 minutes was flying :) to bad he didn't do it at 7am when i wanted to fly :( now im moving getting my coffee brewing when he starts yelling seems his xbox 360's not reading his modern warfare 2 disk. this becomes my problem so again i must put off my needs to work on my goals to help him get his machine working. well after an hour its apparent that the disk drive is bad in it so he needs to take it back to game stop and get another one(glad he had a warranty!!). well he cant do that till friday so hes outta luck & mad. i can now enjoy that first cup of coffee which is part of my routine i set. while im drinking it he goes to the basement to unfreeze the pipes going to our kitchen that had froze the day before. before i can even think about a 2nd cup hes yelling for me :| i head into the kitchen to refill the coffee cup and see what he needs. did i mention he broke my normal coffee cup and i have a itty bitty tea cup instead :| yeah so far im not impressed. i help him in the kitchen with the water (yeah its running again!!) when i notice the sinks not draining. he taps the drain pipe and it seams it froze too (oh boy) so he thaws it while i take bowl after bowl to the bathroom so the sink doesn't overflow since i need to keep the water on. i grab the plunger and get to work on the sink and finally we get it all squared away and i get my second itty bitty cup of java!! i drink my cup while i check my email and look at the FlyLady zone email. i will never get to cleaning that zone today but i want to get into the habit of reading it. now its about 245 teens will be here soon from school and today is errand day. CJ's last trip to the grocery store before i take it on. well i had thought he would be home from the store by 3pm but he actually left then :| we are so behind and i feel like im failing right from day 1. im left with 2 of the teens while he goes to get the 3rd one and do the shopping. i hand out somethings i need done before he returns from shopping so i will be able to put up the groceries and separate the meat. i ask tina to clean counters and wash dishes and david to pick up trash and take all the trash bags that are full to the basement. what i get is david goes to sleep on the couch and tina goes to her room to listen to the radio :( not part of the plan. so i get to go in and do what i can by myself to clean up 2 days worth of mess in the kitchen so i might be able to deal with the groceries and cooking dinner when CJ gets home. i just feel like i have no one helping me and everyone working against me. now davids girlfriend has shown up and hes up go figure! i need to get back to dishes more tomorrow :(

Control Journal

Grandma came over today and we started making our control journals. I just finished mine well almost did lol. I still need to decide on a daily routine but i want to get used to the before bed, morning & after school routines first. Baby steps. Trying to change the bad habits learned over the last 33 years wont be easy and I am sure ill fight it tooth and nail but taking it 1 day at a time is all i can do right now. Whats my next step? I want to do some rearranging to help me stop some of my bad habits. With hubby working sat, sun, tue, wed, thu this week it doesnt leave alot of time for him to help but what i need to do now, i need his help for so for now ill just work on the routines and come friday with him being off from friday till the following friday we will work to get the rearranging done. Grandma also got me 2 desk calenders 1 for the wall in my bedroom where ill be moving my desk to (outta site outta mind i hope) ill use that one to keep track of appointments, CJ's days off & things for the kids and the other is going to go in my Kitchen for me to write down the daily meals and help planning meals easier. so far so good :)

My first post...

Well here i am taking time to take 1 step forward toward my goals. I have a lot of plans for the new year. Lots of changes to make in myself and changes for my hmmm for all intense and purposes we will call him husband since we do live together and have kids together hes just dragging the feet on the whole marriage thing. We are going to hopefully begin to work as a team finally instead of me against everyone like we did the last 6 years. I need a change. I'm not what i would consider a "blogger" but i need to write down my thoughts, accomplishments, feelings and failures so I can get some kind of accountability when things go array. So when i do something that doesn't work I can go back to the drawing board and not make that mistake again. Since I don't have my best friend anymore to give me that much needed adda girl or a man who gives me a well done i figure at least i can come here and tell cyberspace and maybe feel good when I'm up and not get yelled at when I'm down. So here's to the start of a very slow process of reprogramming me to become a better mother, teacher, cleaner, dieter and all around person. Boy can u feel the excitement :|